3 posts tagged “weird”
i was making smoothies this morning and hurt myself! i had a bag of frozen berries that had gone from kinda mooshy and liquidy to solid as concrete overnight. i was trying to smash them up on the counter but underestimated how hard they had become, and somehow in the process smashed instead my right pointer finger knuckle on bag o' berries. it smarted at the time, but now there appears to be a little bruise forming and it hurts to bend my finger. not a broken bone kind of hurt, but a weird just under the skin hurt that is only bothersome when the skin of the knuckle is somewhat tight. what a weird fucking injury.
in other news, the shows kicked ass. especially wilco, but especially the beastie boys. more to follow.
so don't ask me how, but we ended up with a white 2007 mustang convertible to tool around vegas in this week. i have to say, although this is not the car i ever would have chosen for myself in a million years, i kinda dig it. make fun of me if you will, but MAN that thing goes, you even think about putting a whisper's pressure on that damn gas pedal and it's all "VROOMdiggityjumprahhhhhr." i've squealed those tires countless times in the two days we've had it, and i don't even have a small penis for which to be compensating.
and when you're flying up the strip in that smokin hot american muscle and "sweet home alabama" comes on the radio well...let's just say whichever van zant brother it is who commands you to "turn it up," right there at the beginning, i gladly complied. i was hunter s. thompson's faithful attorney, advising him to take half a blue valium, put the top down, and floor it. the skynyrd was followed closely by "born to be wild" and then "little pink houses" and i felt like i was hard charging, gunning for the american dream with all i had. somebody send some golf shoes or i may never make it out of here.
i was angelina jolie's personal assistant. brad was this insane eco-nazi and wouldn't tell me where the dryer was so i could dry the towel he had just used for angie to use when she got out of the shower. don't ask me why brad pitt and angelina jolie don't have enough towels. she sent me out to buy some batteries in her big black escalade and had me send a letter to a law firm telling them that it was only a joke that she wanted to work for them cause she doesn't actually have a law degree. then we made out. discuss.
